


Release – Let it Feel Like Falling

by TruthfulDaydreamer



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Barabara is mentioned, Death, Dick Grayson x His Feelings, Dick grayson centric, Family, Gen, How Dick Grayson Deals with Perceived Failure, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Nightwing Centric, No characters were harmed in the making of this fic, Panic Attack, Promise, Storm - Freeform, Unreliable Narrator, accidental angst, ambiguous depression, both the author and the character, but they don’t show up, it’s intentionally ambiguous, no beta we die like robins, so is alfred, this fic is a mess I’m sorry, this isn’t as dark as it sounds, this wasn’t meant to be sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26577172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TruthfulDaydreamer/pseuds/TruthfulDaydreamer
Summary: There’s a storm brewing over Gotham, the city is dark and the night is quiet, Nightwing stands atop the tallest building alone and lets himself sink into his regrets…the world disappears, there’s nothing but his thoughts as they soar over the clouds, his failures, his losses, his pain, his regrets, and everything he’s done wrong.But when he’s home in Gotham, there’s always someone to catch him when he falls.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26





	Release – Let it Feel Like Falling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FearfulKitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FearfulKitten/gifts).



> this is my first fic, it’s a oneshot and basically an exploration of “how does the light cope when the darkness overwhelms him?”
> 
> I hope you enjoy it

A storm was brewing over Gotham harbour. The wind whipped through the city and made the night feel brimmed with anxiety, ripping the breath from lungs of the city herself. The stars and the moon could no longer breach the dark clouds to shine their light onto the forsaken city below, drowning her inhabitants and protectors in darkness; save by only the artificial glow of homes and street lights.

Most of the city’s inhabitants have retreated into the safety of their hovels, even the rogues of Gotham dare not show their faces for fear that the weather could worsen beyond prediction, and destroy the hope of a decent outcome of whatever plot they have been developing. Yet, her protectors still roam her rooftops.

Nightwing is alone, perched atop the tallest building in Gotham’s business district, overlooking the city and watching the growing storm, even as the winds attempt to tear him away, he clings to the rooftop, lost in his thoughts, not even the claps of thunder booming out and shaking the foundations of buildings able to withdraw him.

Oracle had tried contacting him, but after getting no response for over an hour, has decided to leave him be… whatever is going on in his head, not even she or Alfred had managed to reach him, she chooses to simply reroute everyone else’s attention elsewhere, when Dick is ready to talk, he will talk, but before he’s ready there isn’t a soul on earth who can force him to divulge his thoughts.

Dick leant back his head, watching the clouds roll over him and the city he’d somehow grown to call home. _“It makes sense,”_ he thinks. Even the very sky smothers him, mourning the loss of another innocence he couldn’t save, another light gone out.

The heavens force themselves open with a roar, tears he refuses to shed failing from above and ripping him down, tearing his thoughts from where they were soaring high above, shattering the silence around him and making him fall violently back to earth.

_— You’re always so dramatic Dick,_

The first thing he notes, aside from the feeling of rain pouring onto his face, is the way the world shakes, how each breath is heaving, the wind is not the thing ripping air from his lungs however, it’s the heaving sobs that have overtaken him.

— _in another life, we both would have made excellent performers, don’t you think?_

An echo of a sigh, Dicks head whips around, his eyes searching, but there’s no one there. The sound only inside his head. He’s alone.

— _We’ll talk after the show_

A simple spark, ignited, kindred spirits, a brother, a sister, a friend, a family, a daughter, a son, a partner… all that he’s lost. You’d think whatever deities existed would have decided that enough was enough, that they’d leave him be, allow him to keep what he’d gathered, keep his little happiness.

— _you can’t hold it all in, you can’t keep all this to yourself Dick! It’s destroying you!_

Thunder rips his thoughts from him again, he tries to breathe, like he was taught, keep himself grounded. He’s panicking, he needs to breathe.

Inhale. 2. 3. 4.

Exhale. 2. 3. 4.

— _Let me tell you a secret_

Block it out. The panic isn’t helpful. Regret isn’t helpful. Breathe… just breathe. Failure isn’t the end, it just means you have to try again, learn from your mistakes. Sometimes you can only do the best you can… even Superman can’t save everyone.

Inhale.

— _listen, sometimes…_

But he always tries… just like Dick does. Because every life is worth saving. Every light is worth igniting. Every heartbeat is worth it.

Exhale.

Nightwing wipes his tears and re-secures his domino, with his eyes closed, he takes a deep breath… standing on the edge, he breathes in the scent of the city. Gotham city. He’s not alone here, never here.

— _sometimes Flying… Flying feels like falling._

He leaps.

The air whips past his ears, his eyes flash open, staring as the ground races up to greet him. It feels like an eternity, but really it’s only a few seconds, Nightwing falling along with the rain, every drop whispering to him their stories, before he shoots his grapple, it catches, and he’s swinging up, 

— _Release, let it feel like falling._

The grapple releases as he lands on the next rooftop, he runs, dives off the edge again. There’s sirens somewhere further in the city, that’s where everyone will be… he needs to see them, he shoots his grapple again.

He… misses.

He’s falling.

He’s actually falling.

He didn’t want to fall.

He shoots again, but… the ground is too close, he’s going to hit the ground, he’s going to die just like his parents did with no net to catch him, and there’s no one around to–

A body slams into his.

“I’ve got you.”

He almost forgot. In Gotham, he’s never alone, there will always be someone watching his back. There’s always someone to catch him when he falls.

So he let’s go.

— _Falling is just flying, and trusting someone else to catch you._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> I left the ending as ambiguous as possible, meaning you can insert your favourite pairing, yourself, favourite parent figure, etc in!
> 
> The answer to “how does the light cope when the darkness overwhelms him?”
> 
> He breathes, lets go, and trusts those he loves to catch him. (And they always do)


End file.
